Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The F Word

I was once taught that the use of the word "fuck", "fucking" and such was a sign of being inarticulate. But there are some situations where no other word will do. Such as in the phrase:

inappropriate relationship
That's nine syllables folks. We're breaking a rule set down by Mr. George Carlin, from his melt down over the devolution of the perfectly usable and concise phrase "shell shock" to the long-winded phrase we use today. Anyway, to get back to my rant, "I am sorry if my inappropriate relationship offended anyone". The kicker, of course, being the IF - sort of a backhanded non-apology apology. IF means being offended is really YOUR problem, not mine, but IF you have to have an apology, here it is.
No one, especially a man, ever has an inappropriate realtionship. They fuck. There it is in a nutshell. A man has an influential job in the media. For the young and ambitiuous and hungry, aspiring youth, serving as an intern to a man of such influence is a valued job. The more powerful boss becomes in a sense a ward of the intern, his charge, in part, is to show some stewardship over the younger and less powerful charge. But occasionally, this power is abused when the man fucks the intern. To call this a relationship abuses the word and renders it meaningless. No Congressman has ever had an inappropriate relationship with a stenographer, either blond or blonde, or both at the same time, or seriatum. He......, well... you know. Why belabor the point?
If journalists can regularly mouth such obscenities as collateral damage, I think they can handle a very servicable word rooted in Middle English.
Good Lord! I have two more rants contained in this rant! The famous non-apology apology, and the word relationship.
Shout Out!!!
I need examples from the past ten years of famous non-apology apologies from public servants and entertainment darlings...maybe we can find a pattern.

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